customer service is making me an asshole

customer service is making me an asshole, i noticed today, this evening, outside the walkthrough of the latenight mcdonald's across the street.

i was standing in the line up, behind cars, inhaling exhaust waiting to place my order when a lady came up to me. she wanted some change, so i gave her the loonie and two quarters i had. she said she needed eight dollars and looked really sad, so after i placed my order (mcnugget meal, fries, and a coke, which was delicious) i gave her another two dollars.

then we got to talking.

she was nice, coherent, toothless, on crutches, had a runny nose.

she told me, despite being poor she still plays the lottery. "i'm lucky", she said, which now as i type her words I realize how ironic it was. and sad.

i told her that there isn't a price for a bit of hope, which i thought was clever.

then i got my meal, we continued to small talk about the rich people that were saying no while we inhaled their fumes and waited with our runny noses.

then time came to say good bye, she said good night

i told her to have a lovley night.

we looked at each other, it was awkward silence, i smiled.

then i walked away, thinking of what i had just said.

have a lovely night.

i say that to people on the phones after i'm done giving them their balances or helping them pay a bill and in that context it makes sense, though in the real world, in her real world, as she stood shaking with her crutches in near tears it didn't.

telling somebody to have a lovely night, as though the possibility for one exists is enough to make them cry.