fuck noah and his arc

i hate animals. every time an animal is put on the endangered species list i go out and have a drink.

my distain for animals really took perspective one day as a child during sunday school. we were all learning about god and stuff. he seemed okay and i really dug jesus and we were talking about heaven and how great it would be (thats what we always did) and i was thinking about god and stuff.

- i raised my hand. "why did god kill my grandma"

it was a silly question. i wasn't aware that it was just part of the path god had chosen for me so that was alright. we were all given struggles and overcoming them would save our seat in the clouds.

then we started to learn about Noah and his arc. it was at this point that the lines between heaven and hell started to blur.

heaven is open to all god's creatures. this includes animals. so this means that there is going to be animals in heaven. not just dogs or cats (i hate both) but also dangerous animals like tigers and lions and snakes. dinosaurs won't be there since they never existed, so thats good, but still..

also, I can't picture any animals being sent to hell. this is a problem. i've never known a rabbit to be evil, to rape or steal, or do anything else that would hinder it's chances of getting into heaven. and even if he did, he's a rabit, cut him some fucking slack.

long story short: there's going to be a lot of fucking animals up there. remember the movie all dogs go to heaven. not just some dogs, but all dogs.

so now i am left with the image of heaven being a fucking jungle. dogs humping my legs, snakes biting me in my sleep. flies. there must be flies too. we'retalking ALL of gods creatures. all of them.

for the rest of the day that sunday i thought of these things and when the day was done i left the church and never went back.

heaven is bullshit and to be honest, all things concidering, hell doesn't seem so bad.